The Five Couples You Meet in College.

The Non-Labelers.

Like the bags we once saw on Canal Street, these couples are almost as good as the real thing. The non-labelers have all the rules of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, without the title. No hooking up with other people. No dates with other people. I have feelings for you, you have feelings for me. But it’s nothing serious because we don’t use the B word or the G word. These couples come in different shapes and sizes, but they are a step above your typical hook-up buddies. Everyone knows they’re together and each person is basically off the market, but they can still have the privilege of running around saying “well, I’m not in a relationship.”

The Invisibles.

Invisible couples are typically happy, yet dependent couples. They’re the couples that make us say “Oh, well he/she is probably with so-and-so today anyways” when we forget to invite them on our day trips to the beach with ten of our closest friends. The invisible couple spends every waking moment with their significant other, checks in with him or her before making plans, and if they ever do make an appearance, they’re almost certainly going to be together.

The Much-Too-Visibles.

I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER – should almost never be your Facebook status. The much-too-visibles are the couples that want the whole world to know how in love they are, how happy they are, and how beautiful their babies will be. These are the couples who Instagram photos of them kissing as if you haven’t seen it a billion times before. Though at times, adorable, these couples are most often obnoxious.

The Champions.

“We’re the best couple.” Different from the much-too-visibles in that the champions may or may not be as disgustingly in love as the much-too-visibles, but it doesn’t matter, because they’ve been together the longest and they never-ever fight. Champions, I would hope, are few and far between, but if you meet one, you will know when you hear them celebrating – “Look at that, we won baby, we’re the BEST couple.”

Ken & Barbie.

Ken & Barbie broke up back in 2004, but have been happily back-together since Valentines day 2011. Let’s face it, they belong together. The Ken & Barbie couple is the couple you almost forget is a couple. They go hand-in-hand and their names almost begin to mush together into one long word – i.e. Brangelina. They’re the couple that you’re so used to seeing together, so used to being around, that you would be eating ice-cream straight from the carton if they broke up.

More importantly:


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